Equilibrium: Disruptions in the System Eventually Come to New Balance

I have often wondered why an entire year of general chemistry is a pre-requisite for a DPT program. This has manifested into wondering aloud amongst physical therapists. Many tell me they have never balanced an equation in their entire post-graduate careers. Great.

Chemistry has always been my most challenging subject, dating back to high school chem. It was the only subject where I stared at a test problem blankly and entered in absolute gibberish.  In other subjects, I could at least proffer a mild understanding.

This, coupled with the fact that I hadn’t touched algebra since 2003, has resulted in my two required semesters of gen. chem. abruptly becoming four: 1) Gen Chem 1 –> drop with W, 2) go down a level to Intro. to Gen. Chem., 3) Gen. Chem. 1 (again), and (freakin’ finally) 4) Gen. Chem 2. Phew. The total length of my pre-PT journey has been extended 2 semesters (a whole GD year) thanks to chemistry… and I’m so close to finishing this bastard, I can taste it. When I’m done, I think I will need to get a tattoo about it. Suggestions welcome.

Now that I’m finally midway into finishing my “second” (aka fourth) semester of chemistry, I have come to appreciate a few concepts:

1. Water is cool.  Like really, really cool.
2. Equilibrium:  life likes balance.  If a disruption enters the system, everything will eventually shift into a new balance.

The equilibrium chapter couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. In the near-end of my pre-requisite journey, my relationship of 8 years has ended. The “we’re living together with two furbabies” kind of relationship. The “we’re not married but basically are married” kind of relationship. A major disruption has entered the system. Soon, a new balance will result.

As devastating as this disruption is, my eyes are now opened to a new possibility. Schools that I never dreamed of applying to are now within reach. I have absolute control over the direction of my future. I do not answer to anyone but myself. I’m completely free to do what I want; the vastness of the future is as exhilarating as it is terrifying.

Add this to the barrel of monkeys that is changing your career in your mid-thirties. I’m 34, newly single, and starting a completely new life. The system has shifted, balance is inevitable, and a new equilibrium will soon shake itself out.

Thank you, chemistry.

You are Worthy of Happiness

When we make an active change in our lives, there exists a part of us that believes that we are worthy of happiness. It’s part of what fuels us to make a change in the first place.

Changing careers is like a breakup. It can be tumultuous — emotionally and even financially draining. You have so much invested and, yet, for any variety of reasons the status quo is no longer bearable. It’s unbearable because the sum of these reasons is that you deserve to be happy. So you decide to split and move on.

Sometimes, we stay in situations much, much longer than we should because we ignore that part of us that believes in our deservingness of satisfaction. The longer we stay, the more payout we sometimes expect. When we realize that the payout isn’t worth our investment of time, energy, mental capital, what-have-you, OR we realize the payout is never coming, it can be downright depressing. I stayed in a position with no upward mobility for NINE years because I ignored my own self-worth. Of those nine years, six years of them were spent feeling resentful that my employer didn’t help me carve a career path within the company — but I kept hoping that they soon would. In reality, my employer didn’t know how to do what I wanted and I ended up throwing many good years after bad. Instead of feeling like I owed it to myself to leave, I felt they owed me for staying. For too long, I put my happiness in someone else’s hands, longing for a reward that would never come.

All those years, I deserved to be happy. I just didn’t know it.

Moving Forward

Once we decide to move forward, the ramifications of leaving our past can lead to self-doubt and hesitations. You might experience loss of income, loss of work relationships, guilt or judgment from family or peers. When I told my mom I was going to PT school, she asked me, “Where did I go wrong as a mother?” She took on my career bust as her fault as a parent (talk about adding stress to the situation!). If you’re considering PT school, you may even have to go back to undergraduate level college first to qualify for a program. Starting at ground zero can be downright terrifying. You may begin to wonder, Am I doing the right thing?

To that I say: you are worthy of happiness.

I’ll say it again for the back row.

You are worthy of happiness!

Is a career change going to bring you happiness?  Well, that’s really a question that you should discuss with a therapist. But really, just believing that you deserve to be happy at all can be an illuminating start. And, it if you really, really believe it, you may catch a ride on the train to Self-Worth City. If you are worthy of being happy in your career, in which other aspects of life are you worthy of happiness?

All of them.

I’m not going to lie. This is not always easy. If you’re someone with proclivities toward anxiety and depression like I am, it can be damn-near as big a challenge as the DPT applications process itself. Believing that you deserve happiness takes work.

Once you do believe it, know that you will need to back that belief up with supportive action, a little strategy, and, in some cases, playing the long game.  Above all, maintain perspective!  I have my up days where I feel satisfied with my progress toward applications and my down days where I start Googling any medically-related program with less pre-requisites. It’s okay to wander down these paths and explore (hey, is anyone ever 100% sure about anything?) but maintaining the long view can certainly help get through the days where you want to and abandon the PT ship in a panic.

This is where that whole you being worthy of happiness part comes in. The road to PT school for someone changing careers can be long and rough. It may even be full of times where you stop, divert, or hesitate to continue. Whether you are evaluating if this road is for you or having a moment of am I doing the right thing?, be sure your pro/con list includes your happiness is a factor.

Whether that’s as a physical therapist, a PT Assistant, or anything else under the sun, YOU deserve to be happy.  Say it, own it, and remember to believe it.

Appreciate the Skills that You Have that Others Do Not

When the going gets rough, take a moment for gratitude.

While it may not be in the forefront of your mind, something about you is special. It may be hard to see when you’re beating yourself up for starting over in life but you, career changer, are different.

You have skills that others applicants do not. Take a moment to appreciate them. Go on, I’ll wait.

Unlike many a twenty-something new grad, you have held a job. You know, one that makes you get up at hours that you resent and wear funny (read: dressy) clothes. You are familiar with office culture, email that reads in full sentences, and how to use a older tools that upper management can’t seem to give up. You have had an interview and maybe even interviewed others. You competed for a job and won.

Not only that, career changer, but you have slogged through tasks that you didn’t necessarily like because your livelihood depended on it. You were part of a team that had an end goal beyond winning beer pong. You created, you organized, you collaborated. And you maybe even won a game of beer pong, too, like in a totally professional happy-hour way.

The truth is, career changer, there’s something unique about you that other applicants don’t have: (don’t kill me when I say this) experience.

As cliché as it is, experience matters. Maturity matters. Being able to meal prep and stay on budget (because loan payments) matters. You may not have the energy of a 22 year-old, but doggonit, you can write a meeting agenda and assign to-do’s like a bastard. Something that may come in handy in, I don’t know, grad school group projects (which, I hear, are never-ending).

Yes, you will be the annoying person who always wants to start the project first, and it will be because your partners/kids/cats/dogs/Xboxes anxiously await you at home. You will manage your time better because you know how to prioritize. And you will know to keep perspective when it is difficult because life always is. You may even be quite popular, career changer, as after all is said and done, you are reliable and wise — and in trying times, people with these qualities are the leaders to which we all look.

For what it’s worth, career changer, your professors will probably appreciate you, too.  After dealing with twenty-somethings for most of their lives, your professors will love someone who speaks their language! Unless your professors are twenty-somethings, in that case ¯\_(ツ)_/¯… but maybe even then, they’ll admire you, too.

Appreciate the small victories, career changer. They are yours and yours alone. When the going gets rough, know that you are different and that, in itself, makes you awesome.

We Always Thought You Should be a Scientist and Other Lessons on Self-Doubt

“We always thought you should be a scientist,” she said. Thanks, Mom. Information I could have used yesterday. The year was 2015.

For the record, I wanted to go to PT school when I was a freshman in high school. I ignored the voice that said that I could.

Rather, I listened to the voice that said that I couldn’t. It would be too hard, it said. I agreed.

Twenty years later, I am ready to apply for a life that, frankly, I knew I’ve wanted since I was 15. It’s a tad embarrassing to read that aloud.

Do the kids even know what “aloud” means? I digress.

I’ve curtailed myself from opportunities for a really long time. Without knowing why, I could acknowledge that I was overwhelmed and nix moving forward on things that were scary.

Student council. Nope. (Not enough time). College softball tryouts. NOPE! (Want to have a “normal” college experience, aka party a lot). Biology major at a distinguished research institute for the sciences. NOPETY-NOPE-NOPE-NOOOOOPE! (Want to major in something “worldly” instead).

I thought I was protecting myself from taking on too much. My friends did these things, though, and then some. I was more than capable of achieving all of these things, too. I was just as smart and hardworking as they were.

What I also was, though, was a perfectionist. If I couldn’t do it perfectly, I shouldn’t do it at all. I missed big opportunities because I let perfect be the enemy of good, like basically my whole life. What I didn’t know was that I was suffering anxiety, her sister depression, and their twisted cousin self-doubt. FOR (literal) DECADES.

And while I will never regret the knowledge, education, and experience that I do have, I now know that I deprived myself many dreams due to my mental health. It’s taken a long time to come to terms with that. But, as they say, you can’t unring a bell. My mental health is now always a lens through which I view my life. I’m bound and determined to no longer let my struggles deprive me of the life I’m meant to live. Of course, I have my off days. It’s something I constantly have to work at. I’m not perfect, haaa… isn’t that the point?

Self-doubt, anxiety, and depression are real bastards. But they are real.  If you suspect they play a role in your life, do yourself a favor and do some investigation. Get in touch with your mental health. Make it as important as any pre-requisite class. Do yoga, meditate, talk to a therapist. Go on medication if you and your health professional believe that it’s right. Whatever helps you, do it.

And don’t be afraid to make a mistake. Imagine your life as a tree with branches, each representing a path in your life. They may be long or short, thin or gnarled, with leaves or buds, or even bare. The most beautiful trees possess many branches. Allow yours to be in as many iterations and shapes as they are meant to.

 

 

 

 

 

It’s Okay to Admit There are Times When it Sucks

When I completed undergrad in 2006, they told us that success was ours for the taking. All we had to do was grab it.

“They” were university administrators. “They” were commencement speakers. “They” were the people we paid to obtain our Bachelor of Arts in some field with zero jobs and no pay in a soon-to-be recessing economy. “They” were parents or elders who retired with lifelong jobs that offered full pensions. “They” lied.

Maybe that’s harsh. While elements of the self-actualization promise are not untrue, “they” made it seem a lot easier than reality.

I’m barely on the edge of being a Millennial; I graduated college immediately before the Great Recession. I’m sure that Gen Z’ers are facing economic realities equally as …erm… for lack of a better word… screwed.

But, if I can be honest, I was over my liberal arts degree even before the economy tanked in 2008. By then, I had moved to D.C. to follow my dream job and competed for $25,000 jobs against PhDs. When I didn’t get my dream job, I settled for a modest position in one of the busiest courthouses in the country translating domestic violence petitions. For lack of a better option, I convinced myself that I could be an attorney and moved home to apply to law school. It wasn’t my first choice but it seemed like a sensible one.

I took the LSAT, asked for recommendations, applied to schools, told everyone I was going to be a lawyer — and I hated every minute of it.

When I received my first rejection letter, I felt instant relief. Maybe this isn’t something that I’m meant to do, I thought. Maybe I dodged a bullet.

So after toiling for years in a lackluster job without a clue what to do with my life, finding a passion for the human body was new life, new breath, a new promise.

If you’re changing careers, maybe you can relate.

The toughest part of this journey, so far, has been waiting for the dream even come to my door. Now that I’ve opened the door, there are times when I feel 10,000 steps behind the young undergrads in this fight to make it become a reality. At long last, I found a career passion as strong as the labor forecast. And now that I’ve found it, I have to wait for it. And fight. And wait some more.

They told me success would be mine for the taking but they never told me:

• how long it would take to finish my pre-reqs
• how working the “old” job would become even more tedious and unrelatable than ever
• how little free time and money I’d have while working through pre-reqs
• etc., etc., etc.

We may not share the same story but if you’re on this journey, I feel your pain. You really want to move on in your life. I do too. While pre-reqs and applications and GRE’s stand between you and your goal of starting PT school, it’s okay to admit that there are times when it sucks. We will get through this together.

I promise.

 

 

There’s More than One Way to Skin a Cat: Where to Take Your Pre-Reqs

There’s more than one way to skin a cat. After Human Anatomy lab at the community college, I can attest to this statement more than I’d like. Hey, we’re not a fancy school with real cadavers.

Just like skinning a cat, there’s more than one way that us career changers can tackle PT school pre-requisites. Unfortunately, we often are over our unit limits for qualifying for normal financial aid. Depending on your finances, you may need to pro/con list the following options:

Good Ol’ Community College

This is by-far the cheapest option. Currently, Orange Coast College in Costa Mesa, CA charges $46.00 per unit. With minor additional fees, a 5-unit chemistry class can cost around $250.00.  Books might be another $100 on top of that. After filing my FAFSA, in which I declared myself as financially independent and proved my low-income status, I qualified for the California Board of Governors Fee Waiver. As such, I pay only lab and health fees and books. Tuition is covered. Thank you very much, whoever came up with that!

Access to this option depends on your area. Lucky for me, I live in Orange County, CA, where there are many great community colleges to choose from. As some schools are impacted, encountering course wait-lists can be a reality. I was able to deal with wait-lists by seeking classes at other junior colleges nearby. Even so, the times when I had no other option but the wait-listed class, I stuck it out and eventually got into the classes that I needed. If you are afraid of being in this situation, all I can say is register early.

Timing also works well for career changers with J.C. classes because they often have options for working professionals, such as night classes. This can be a blessing or a curse, depending on how much you really need that 8:00pm – 11:10pm chem lab. Yes…that is a real lab time at one school I attended. Beggars can’t be choosers.

Post-Baccalaureate Programs

If finances aren’t as much of an issue, a post-bacc program might be for you. These programs are often pre-selected course bundles offered in cohorts for pre-health students who didn’t choose a pre-health major. As an example, California State University at Fullerton offers a pre-health post-bacc which costs around $450 per unit. That same 5-unit chemistry class that cost $250.00 at community college in a post-bacc could cost upwards of $2,300.

Due to the nature of cohort systems, post-bacc programs often provide less flexibility in terms of class schedule and program start dates. On the flip side, you are often guaranteed a spot in each class and don’t have to deal with waitlists. This would be a great option for someone with comfortable finances who just wants to get the pre-requisites done as soon as possible (i.e. my accountant friend… and yes, I’m still jealous).

Other benefits of post-bacc programs may include special career advisement, test prep, and assistance with applications. CSUF’s program even offers grad school linkages which could give candidates a leg up on the competition. If you have the scratch and the schedule, this option is not too shabby.

University Extension Courses

A third option, reserved also for those who can afford it, is the university extension course. This option allows non-enrolled outsiders to take university classes for credit, as long as the class is not full.  Sometimes called “open university,” these courses literally open the university to just about anyone who A) can afford it and B) has the necessary pre-requisites for the class in question.

Extension courses are a great way to hit upper division science courses that may not be offered at community colleges. They also extend another option for the physiology course that you’d rather take at J.C. except that you’re #25 on the waitlist. The downside of extension courses is that university courses cost university tuition. IT. IS. NOT. CHEAP. California State University at Long Beach charges $307.00 per unit. Private universities will almost definitely cost more.

This is a great option for those of you who haven’t reached your limits on units for undergraduate financial aid or who have a rich uncle.

Where are you taking your pre-reqs? What obstacles have you encountered along the way? Let us know in the comments below.

Find Your Wiggle Room

I’ve been fortunate to have an understanding and very flexible employer during my career change to physical therapy. For this, I’m very grateful.

That being said, working through this transition has not been easy. My prior career was in non-profit services. I had no financial cushion that allowed me time off to take multiple classes at once. My work-from-home arrangement has worked out very nicely in that I have a steady job where I can choose my hours. But let’s be real. In order to study, I had to drastically cut my hours. I went from lower-middle class to starving student really fast.

I realize that everyone’s situation is different. Mine is one where I had to really lean on support systems to make this happen. My rent is highly subsidized since I live the mother-in-law unit of a family member. But I recognize others stretch themselves thinner than me. I don’t have children. I have family to lean on. I have an employer who said, “Yes, go follow your dreams! We’ll still pay you if you do your work.” Others are not so lucky.

A few years ago, I remember meeting another career changer at an information session at Chapman University. He was an accountant. At first, I was stoked to meet someone with whom I could relate on the pre-PT struggle. So we got to chatting, and soon my heart sank. I realized that rather than camaraderie, I felt envy.  Deep green envy. This fine gentleman said that he quit his accounting job and was taking pre-reqs FULL TIME to apply to DPT programs the following year. As the conversation progressed, I couldn’t help but imagine Scrooge McDuck diving into his vault of gold coins. To this day, I still think about how lucky that bastard was that he could afford to quit work and focus on school alone. Yet, I remind myself that my story is my own and we all have different cards we are dealt. *Sigh.*

In my situation, I’ve been able to take usually 1-2 pre-requisite classes at a time. I work my “main” job between 7-20 hours per week and have taught anywhere from 2-8 fitness classes per week at various employers. With multiple jobs, school, getting enough volunteer (*ahem* UNPAID *ahem*) observation hours, and trying to have some “me” time, that’s pretty much been my life for the last 3 years. I’m finally now to the point where I can apply to PT school in the next application cycle. They aren’t kidding when they call it a grind.

If I can make this happen, chances are that you can, too.  What factors give you wiggle room that you can leverage? For me, it was taking my job remotely. It was living with family instead of on my own. Be creative. What can you do to make your dream a reality? Is there something…anything…you can do to make this possible?

Meditate on it and let’s discuss in the comments.

A Chance to Dig Deeper

Three years ago, I decided to put my money where my mouth was. After years of groaning, complaining, and suffering the general burden of hating one’s job, I decided to change my life. I wasn’t quite sure where I was headed — but I knew here wasn’t it.

I enrolled in Human Anatomy at the community college down the street. By the skin of my teeth, I waived the pre-requisite biology course. And yes, it is true that teeth actually don’t have skin. Thank you, Anatomy.

The prior semester, I had dabbled in an online kinesiology course that was (disappointingly) more career survey than biomechanics. Due to the rigor of the course, I couldn’t call it more than dabbling. We skipped all the chapters that I wanted to read (the nerdy ones on science and stuff), and we read the ones on career choices. You know, the stuff I thought was a complete waste of time. When we covered the chapter on physical therapy, I thought, “Nahhh.” It felt too… obvious.

Enrolling in Human Anatomy was my chance to dig a bit deeper. On a whim, I had signed up for Yoga Teacher Training in 2012 (my first attempt of escaping my “real” job). I had been teaching a few yoga classes at the local YMCA outside of the 9-to-5. I liked the fitness aspect of teaching yoga but the depth was missing. Students sought answers for pain that I could not provide. Our basic yoga anatomy instruction was enough to tell us that the humerus was different than the femur but not enough to answer questions of substance.

I needed substance.

So without a path, I enrolled in a class that promised little but the basic nerd-stuff of the body.  At the time, it was all I needed.

Eight months later, I gave my job an ultimatum. Let me work from home, or I’m leaving for good. To my surprise, they said, “Yes.”

Thus, I began my path to PT.